Monday, July 29, 2013

What's the tune of your depression?

Sometimes music makes me feel great. Other times, I listen to music that makes me feel down to listen to. Music: does it make you feel better or does it make you feel worse?
This song makes me think my battle with depression. (Although I believe this song could easily apply to having bipolar or an addiction-it's all about our experiences and perception)

Sometimes in the morning I am petrified and can't move
Awake but cannot open my eyes

Depression sometimes make me feel like I cannot wake up in the morning, that I do not want to get up out of bed. The fatigue.

Then you hang up the phone and feel badly for upsetting things
You'll be a better daughter
This is the guilt I feel with depression. I feel guilty all the time for not being good enough. I feel guilty about how I treat others, about how my depression makes me not want to go to the store to get food, how it makes me feel bad for having low energy around my family and friends. How being quiet means they think I am mad at them. how my guilt makes me paralyzed. 

And crawl back into bed to dream of a time
When your heart was open wide and you loved things just because

This reminds me of the the activities that I lose interest in

But you'll fight and you'll make it through
You'll fake it if you have to

And you'll show up for work with a smile
And you'll be be better you'll be smarter
More grown up and a better daughter
And you'll be awake and you'll be alert
You'll be positive though it hurts

You'll be happy 
The coping to make it through everyday

Your ship may be coming in
You're weak but not giving in
And you'll fight it you'll go out fighting all of them

And finally, knowing that you are fighting your demons everyday, and you will make it through.

Song: A better son/daughter by Rilo Kiley

Monday, July 22, 2013

Is it sunlight or my occupations in the sun that help my depression?

Consumer: Ok so this post is a little late. It's summer, I love the sun, I love the sunlight. I feel a million times better soaking up the sun! As discussed (will put up the study links later), sunlight-even artificial sunlight can help people who have certain forms of depression (seasonal affective disorder) Although I am not diagnosed with this, overall the sun always makes me feel happy. This leads me to.... Is it the sun or the occupations?
When I think of sunlight I think of: swimming, beach, pool, putting my toes in the soft green grass, watching pretty blue clouds,  smelling spring flowers, going to the park, vacations, eating watermelon, reading a book, camping with friends...
All these things I love are made up of occupations I enjoy  :) So is it the sunlight or is it the occupations or maybe a combo of both :) 
OT thoughts :
Make a list of things you love to do everyday, keep it somewhere you can see it!
        -Order them most to least helpful             and use as needed to cope
         -Order them by time (ie: I can do this in 5 min to watch clouds or take ms 3 hours for the zoo) 
        -Order them by numbers and randomly pick a number to go do when you're feeling blue

PS: Use sunscreen & be safe, happy summer :)